The Grass Is Always Greener

Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I was talking with a girlfriend the other day. An interesting conversation indeed. She says to me, "Boy, must be nice to stay home with your children. You must get tons done every day." Who me? Is she kidding me? She returned to work when her son was six weeks old. She knows little about the life of a SAHM. So, I decide it's time I filled her in. I paint the picture for her...

7:00 am - Wake up and change from pj's to clothes that are suitable for the bus stop
7:10 am - First attempt to wake Emma
7:12 am - Make my bed
7:15 am - Second attempt to wake Emma
7:17 am - Put a load of laundry into washing machine
7:20 am - Third attempt to wake Emma
7:22 am - Brush teeth and do what vaguely resembles combing my hair
7:25 am -Fourth and final attempt to wake Emma inclusive of bribery
7:27 am - Run downstairs and put bagel in toaster for Emma; run back upstairs
7:30 am - Check on Emma's getting dressed progress
7:31 am - Run downstairs to spread cream cheese on bagel; run back upstairs
7:35 am - Second check on Emma's getting dressed progress; remind her of the time of day
7:36 am - Harper is awake and asking for breakfast
7:40 am - Put Emma's hair in pigtails.
7:45 am - We all head downstairs for breakfast
7:46 am - Make Harper french toast bites and cut strawberries and bananas for her
7:47 am - Emma asks for something to drink; I get it for her
7:48 am - Harper asks for apple juice. I get it
7:50 am - Harper asks for the same breakfast that Emma's has. She doesn't want the french toast bites
7:54 am - Still negotiating with Harper to eat her breakfast rather than make her a new one
7:56 am - I give my first warning to Emma that the bus comes in 20 minutes
8:00 am - Harper abandons her breakfast. She'll probably ask for a snack at 8:32 am
8:01 am - Pack Emma's lunch and re-check her homework
8:07 am - Give Emma first reminder on the time
8:08 am - Help Emma tie her shoes
8:09 am - Run upstairs; transfer laundry from washer into dryer; put new load in washer
8:13 am - Give Emma second reminder of the time
8:14 am - Help Emma put coat and backpack on
8:16 am - Head to bus stop

At this point my girlfriend stops me, says she's heard enough. I said, "Oh, but I've hardly gotten started. That's the easy hour and a half." She tells me that her husband gets her son dressed, fed and ready for daycare while she gets ready for work. She continues...Matt takes the son to daycare so that she can eat breakfast and read the paper by herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"That's it!", I say to her. "I'm going back to work!"

No comments