But a few days ago, Emma snapped a picture of me and when I looked at the picture, I found myself all of a sudden studying the photo. Like really, really examining it.
Something funny happened in those moments that I looked at my picture. I began to really see myself. See myself for who I am and what I have become.
At 46, I am finally at ease with myself. Finally comfortable in my own skin.
This famous quote (which, by the way, is often incorrectly attributed to Dr. Seuss) pretty much sums up how I feel right now in my life.
“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” — Bernard Baruch
It took me a long time to get to this point. I spent years worrying about pleasing everyone, those who matter the most and those who matter the least. I worried about what people thought of my hair, my clothes, etc.
I spent years nurturing friendships and relationships that were going no where.
With age and experience comes wisdom. The wisdom to know what you want and what you like. The wisdom to set yourself free of all that has weighed you down in the past.
Now, if I like it, it doesn't matter what others think.
I have friends who aren't judgmental. I have friends who are real. No pretenses. They tell it like it is, and I know I can do the same. The same goes for my husband and my sisters.
With age comes a knowledge that I am not perfect and that no one is. With age comes an acceptance that I am not perfect and no one is. And I'm perfectly OK with that.
At 46, I am perfectly OK with me.