Why the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Has Nothing To Do With Bathing Suits

One look at this year's cover, and it's clear: this year's edition of Sports Illustrated's annual Swimsuit Edition has nothing to do with bathing suits.

I mean, really, who wears a fur lined, hooded parka with bikini bottoms?

Sports Illustrated's 2013 Swimsuit Edition

Exactly. No one.

I am not one to bash this annual tradition of Sports Illustrated's. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had the body to fit into any one of the featured bathing suits. I enjoyed perusing the pages for potential beach and poolside attire and quite possibly, my next exotic travel destination.

The annual Swimsuit Edition was a welcomed distraction from the technical jargon, sports commentary, and uniformed men who usually grace the pages of the magazine. But in years past, SI has veered so far off the path of actually featuring bathing suits. Now, they are featuring women's bodies as is evidenced by the subtitle, "Kate Upton Goes Polar Bare".

While the scenery from Antarctica is nothing short of spectacular, the pictures are anything but realistic. Who wears a bikini in Antarctica? Who lounges seductively on an iceberg while clad solely in a skimpy white bathing suit and a pair of furry boots? I suppose I should be satisfied that she's wearing a bathing suit. She could have her lady parts covered with strategically placed snow.

Sports Illustrated, if you are listening, here are some things to consider for next year's publication.
1) Necklaces and scarves do not constitute bikini tops....ever.
2) Body paint? Really? How is that anything close to a bathing suit? I want to see actual bathing suits, You know, the ones that I can wear to the beach or pool.
3) Antarctica? I know. I can't stop harping on this one. This is hardly a place where women are running around without wearing down parkas much less bathing suits.

A prude I am not. I've been to St. Barth's. I've sunbathed topless.

However, a Swimsuit Edition should be just that. It should feature bathing suits. Not necklaces. Not scarves. And certainly not body paint.

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Like a Hamster on a Wheel

Yea, you know what I'm talking about.

More and more, I end my day feeling like I've just stepped off the wheel and crawled into my bed.

Ever since school has ended, I swear I spend my days doing the same tasks over and over again. The laundry never ends. C'mon, there are 2 adults and 2 kids in this house and enough laundry for 10 people.

I have spent at least 15 minutes per day lecturing the girls on the importance of picking up after themselves so that I don't have to waste MY time doing it. And you know what happens in the minutes before I go upstairs for the night? Yep, you got it. I end up scouring the downstairs for the kids' clutter and removing it from the floors, sofa, chairs, tables, kitchen island.

I kicked off summer vacation by having a meeting where I laid the "ground rules" for summer break. In addition to the task of cleaning up after themselves, the girls were instructed to keep their rooms straightened up so that we didn't need to spend time each morning doing so. Surprise! We are into our 3rd week of summer vacay, and this ground rule has been broken more than once. :(

I'm guessing that most moms feel the way I do. We take 2 steps forward and one step back. But I'm also guessing that there are moms who take 3 steps forward and 3 more steps forward. How do I get to be one of those moms? At what point will I know that my kids are listening and following my directions? Hello?? Is there anyone in there???

Right now, I'm spending 30 minutes in the morning on the treadmill and the remainder of the day spinning on the hamster wheel, and I'm not seeing any results.

Can someone please come take this hamster wheel out of my house? Please? I'll pay you...

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Foursquare Burnout

About a year ago, I began using Foursquare, a location-based social media app. Foursquare allows you to "check-in" to businesses to allow your friends to see where you are and vice versa. Secondly, you can earn "badges" for certain check-ins and mayorships for frequent check-ins.

When I first started using Foursquare, I was hooked on the high of unlocking badges. It was fun, and you never knew when you'd unlock your next badge. Then I discovered a few Web sites which disclosed information on exactly how to unlock badges. The thrill was still there, but much of the luster was gone. It's not fun knowing exactly when you'll unlock a badge and exactly how many check-ins it will take to do it. I loved the element of surprise. But now, so many badges are location-specific, making it impossible for the average user to unlock them.

In addition to unlocking badges, I enjoyed seeing where friends were popping up, both in my area and in other cities and states. I liked seeing where people were eating, where people were shopping, and where people were visiting. What started to annoy me were the play-by-play checkins. If you are a Foursquare user, I'm sure you know the type. They checkin at their house, their car, their street, the road they are driving on, the gas station, the convenience store, the grocery store, a friend's house. etc. It was all, well, too much for me to take.

So, I started backing off on my own checkins. No one needs to know everywhere I go, right? And, more importantly, who really cares? Plus, I realized that everytime I walked into a business, I must have looked ridiculous fumbling for my BlackBerry so that I could hurry up and checkin.

Frequent checkins mean mayorships. Being a mayor means...well, I don't quite know. It should mean that you get discounts or freebies, but you don't. So, I was left asking myself, why am I advertising that I am always at a business if I am getting nothing for it? So, I stopped checking in and therefore, stopped the free advertising.

As with any location-based app, there's the question of security. How safe it is to show my exact location at the exact time I am there? So, I started checking in to locations as I was leaving. But what is the point of doing that? Why checkin after I've been and gone?

So, what did I decide? Well, I'm not ready to give up Foursquare just yet. I do like to see where my friends are spending their time (and their money). But I don't need to checkin everywhere I go, and in fact, I actually enjoy not checking in everywhere. It's a time suckage. I will be checking in at social media events, when I go on vacation or when I am daytripping. My day to day checkins will be fewer, unless I am feeling compelled to checkin on any particular day.

I don't need to add Foursquare to an aleady long list of personal burnouts. Slow and steady.

Do you use Foursquare? If so, are you an addict? What do you like most about it? Least?

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SoCal or EnJay?

One of the things I miss most about not working outside the home is the business trips to Southern California (or SoCal for those of us well-versed in the local lingo). I LOVE California, especially south of LA. If Henry came home from work today and told me that we had to move there, I think I could have everything packed in less than a day!!

When I made the move from Pennsylvania to New Jersey, I was grateful to find a similar beach culture to that of SoCal. The surf culture is prevalent here in Jersey. Along with the surf shops which sell boards and clothes, are a handful of restaurants which specialize in "tropicali" cuisine. Tropicali is defined as Southern California cuisine influenced by Latino, Tropical Island and Pacific Rim Flavors! Yum.

Harper and I stopped at Fins recently to get one of their famous smoothies, but while there we indulged in a salsa sampler with chips, too. Check out the decor...seriously, can you tell we are in New Jersey? Looks like Cali or possibly Hawaii!

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