Living With Type 1 Diabetes :: Hitting The 6 Month Mark

Yesterday marked the 6 month anniversary of Harper's type 1 diabetes diagnosis. While there have been days when it seems like diabetes has always been a part of our lives, there have also been days when it seems we've just begun this battle.

I'll never get used to the roller coaster ride that is type 1 diabetes. The constant struggle to maintain a healthy blood sugar is a daily challenge. Looking back, I now realize that Harper's first few months post-diagnosis were a walk in the park since she was in a "honeymoon" phase.

Her honeymoon phase is starting to end, and her body is no longer producing residual insulin. The past month has been a battle. Constant monitoring of blood sugar levels, sometimes on an hourly basis. Calls to the endocrinologist on a weekly basis to adjust insulin dosages. Adjusting insulin to accommodate fluctuating blood sugar levels. It's been a lot of ups and downs.

It's been 6 months of on-going education. Every day we seem to learn something new about this complex disease and how it specifically affects Harper.

And then there's diabetes burnout. No one tells you about this in the hospital, but it's very real. The days you wake up and don't want anything to do with diabetes. It happens to the diabetic, and it happens to the caretakers. This disease can be draining on everyone involved. There isn't a moment in the day that I don't think about diabetes and what affect is it having on Harper. And I always seem to be giving a shot or calculating carb counts or replenishing diabetic supplies or calling the insurance company.

Most days I know we will be OK, that type 1 diabetes is manageable and controllable. But there are other days when I look at Harper and feel an overwhelming sadness for her. She's been handling this like a trooper, but I can see in her eyes that some days she wants to go back to the way she used to be. She wants to be carefree about her eating. She doesn't want to stop in the middle of what she's doing to check her blood sugar.

Everything seems so calculated now. What time will she eat? How much will she eat? When will her insulin peak? At times, I wonder if we will ever really get used to this life.

I know we will, but that day seems so far in our future. So for now, we will continue on our path, guiding each other and keeping each other, especially Harper, from veering too far off the trail.