Why the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Has Nothing To Do With Bathing Suits

One look at this year's cover, and it's clear: this year's edition of Sports Illustrated's annual Swimsuit Edition has nothing to do with bathing suits.

I mean, really, who wears a fur lined, hooded parka with bikini bottoms?

Sports Illustrated's 2013 Swimsuit Edition

Exactly. No one.

I am not one to bash this annual tradition of Sports Illustrated's. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had the body to fit into any one of the featured bathing suits. I enjoyed perusing the pages for potential beach and poolside attire and quite possibly, my next exotic travel destination.

The annual Swimsuit Edition was a welcomed distraction from the technical jargon, sports commentary, and uniformed men who usually grace the pages of the magazine. But in years past, SI has veered so far off the path of actually featuring bathing suits. Now, they are featuring women's bodies as is evidenced by the subtitle, "Kate Upton Goes Polar Bare".

While the scenery from Antarctica is nothing short of spectacular, the pictures are anything but realistic. Who wears a bikini in Antarctica? Who lounges seductively on an iceberg while clad solely in a skimpy white bathing suit and a pair of furry boots? I suppose I should be satisfied that she's wearing a bathing suit. She could have her lady parts covered with strategically placed snow.

Sports Illustrated, if you are listening, here are some things to consider for next year's publication.
1) Necklaces and scarves do not constitute bikini tops....ever.
2) Body paint? Really? How is that anything close to a bathing suit? I want to see actual bathing suits, You know, the ones that I can wear to the beach or pool.
3) Antarctica? I know. I can't stop harping on this one. This is hardly a place where women are running around without wearing down parkas much less bathing suits.

A prude I am not. I've been to St. Barth's. I've sunbathed topless.

However, a Swimsuit Edition should be just that. It should feature bathing suits. Not necklaces. Not scarves. And certainly not body paint.

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Shoulder Buddies: The New "It" Item

If you have young children, you are aware that they MUST own whatever the "hot" item of the moment is.

I first remember this occurring with Silly Bandz. Emma came home from school begging me to take her to the local pharmacy to buy some. "Everyone in school has them.", she told me. Yes, of course, everyone has them. Everyone but you, I know. So, what did we do? We schlepped to the pharmacy to buy a package of Silly Bandz. A few days later...another package or two, and this continued for months.

The Silly Bandz craze? Yep. So over it. But we've got thousands to show for the fad.

These days, apparently, the must-own items among the elementary school set are Shoulder Buddies. Take a look...

They are magnetic troll-type things that are right there with you...wherever you go.

If your kids haven't come home whining for these things, they soon will. And for $5.95 per buddy, you can own one of your very own. Thank goodness there are only 8 to choose from. I hardly need thousands of these things cluttering up my house.

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I Hate That - Last minute party invitation

Emma came home from school today and emptied her backpack...as she always does. In her folder was a birthday party invitation. For a party on Saturday. It's Wednesday. What the @#&%! Who does that? Who sends invitations 3 days before a party? We should be RSVP'ing 3 days before the party, not receiving the invite.

Nothing, I repeat, nothing irritates me more than poor planning and non-existent organizational skills. I cannot tolerate it. C'mon, it's not like the kid ran up to his mom yesterday and said, "Hey, mom, don't forget my birthday is on Saturday." We are well aware of our children's birthdays. Plus, the class invitation rule is that if you hand them out in school, they must be given to each and every child. So, it's not as if Emma were an afterthought. And, it's not the first time this has happened. The Monday prior to Thanksgiving Emma received an invitation for a party on Friday, the day following Thanksgiving. Get real. Who has a birthday party on Thanksgiving weekend, the busiest travel holiday of the year????????

I have half a mind to call these parents and give them my 2 cents. But I never would. I figure they'll suffer enough embarrassment and disappointment when the party is a big flop because they were too disorganized to get the invitations out in a timely fashion.

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I Hate That

I have very few pet peeves. I consider myself to be a fairly tolerant person and can deal with just about anyone's idiosyncrasies and annoyances. But there are a few things that COMPLETELY annoy me to the point of cringing.

Spelling
I'd never win a spelling bee. Come on, have you heard the words those kids are required to spell? Impossible. But spelling is definitely one of my strong points. I can correctly spell all commonly spoken words and plenty that are not. BUT (notice all caps) I cannot tolerate misspellings. Typos are one thing, but flat out misspelled words in a professional (and sometimes personal) setting are inexcusable. Some common ones that I've seen are separate and accommodate. For some reason, most people like to spell separate or separation with two e's, seperate. It doesn't even look right. One way to remember is that it's root is from the Latin word para (can't remember what it means but it's easy to see that there are two a's there). Accommodate is easy...two c's, two m's. Period.

For a list of commonly missspelled words and tips to remember the correct spellings, click here.

Grammar
I don't even know where to start here. There are way too many to write so I'll choose the absolute one that bothers me most. It eats me up inside when someone says, "I should have went" (to the store, etc). I hear this at least five times per day, sometimes from people to whom I am speaking directly and other times from overhearing a conversation. Either way, it drives me mad. The correct way to state this is "I should have GONE...". So, if you say this, please don't say it to me.

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